Hi All Yesterday was National Coming Out Day and LGBT youth encouraged us to have a day of online action in support of the LGBT community. This was something I was proud to participate in as I wanted to give this idea my full and unqualified support. This is the reason why I decided to write this post for my blog
My reason for supporting this day of action is not just because I myself am an out and proud trans woman is due to the fact that I really believe in equality and fairness and if you believe in these fundamental tenants of what I see as the benchmark of a civilised society then you cannot restrict love only to the purest form of biology. The right to love is a basic human right and must be available to everyone no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity. It is in my opinion the mark of any civilised society to make sure all citizens are treated fairly and given the respect they deserve.
So if love is as I have said a basic human right. There are those amongst us who will ask why do some people feel the need to come out and tell everyone they are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender? This is a valid question and it is one I hope by writing this post I can give the dignity of an answer which may help those who ask it understand the challenges faced by those within the community and why they feel they need to be honest with both themselves and the world.
It is the opinion of this blogger that a day like this is necessary to raise awareness and to give our LGBT population the chance to explain positively and without prejudice their sexuality or gender identity and explode some of the myths surrounding them. You see it is those myths which lurk like demons in the hearts and minds of the general public due to their continual use by the press and media who have over the course of decades and even centuries built up negative and damaging stereotypes of the LGBT communities. This is why coming out is so necessary as people feel the need to explain their love to members of their family or peer group in a way which none of their siblings or neighbours need to do as they are seen to fit in to society’s perceived and socially accepted norms.
Whilst for some people coming out will not be a problem and they will acceptance easy from family, friends, and neighbours, others will find it much more difficult to come out and they
could be members of your family community or friendship group. I know I could never have managed to come out as trans and enjoy the quality of life I do without a lot of fantastic support from a brilliant group of mainly but not exclusively female friends. However, not everyone is as lucky as I was and for that matter continue to be so those people really need your support.
You can show your support by posting a positive comment on your wall or and yes I know it’s a shameless plug you could read some of my trans blogs at http://www.tartantights.wordpress.com/ I recommend these poems The Lemon Dress, Dutiful Daughter, Secret Girl, and A Trans Daughter Remembers Her Mother. These poems were written to empower people with an understanding of transgender issues and the difficulties and challenges we face even within places where we would hope to have the greatest level of support.
Speaking personally I know that coming out is a slow and gradual process and is also pretty constant in the sense that you are always meeting new people and may feel that you need to let them know your sexual orientation or gender identity in order to avoid any socially awkward situations which could lead to embarrassment later if allowed to go unchecked.
As a trans woman who came out later in life I was mid way through my 47th year when I finally came out to face the world at my work’s Christmas night out on 19th December 2008. I knew what I was letting myself in for. However I believe that coming out is a difficult process for many people regardless of age, class, gender race or religion. As for me I think it was easier as a transwoman than it is for some gay men and lesbians. My reason for this belief is the fact that as a transsexual my decision is to some extent whether I like it or not far more in your face because of the physical change in appearance. This means that people are faced with the this is me take it or leave it approach. Also I don’t give permission for people to be smart or attempt wisecracks at my expense. Try that little routine and you may find out the hard way the every trans woman has an inner bitch and isn’t afraid to kick ass.
Bearing this in mind I was delighted to meet two young lesbians on a night out in Paisley who couldn’t keep their hands off each other and quite right too. It was obvious they fancied each other and were really loved up. The fact this happened in a straight bar made their very public display of affection all the better in my opinion. You see for as long as a heterosexual couple can kiss in public without anyone batting so much as eyelid but a gay or lesbian couple can’t be given the same right to love each other then we really need a national coming out day. You see the way I see it is simple nobody is coming out to get preferential treatment we are coming out for fairness and the right to equal love
Love And Best Wishes
Gayle XXX
Tartantights Blog 