In My Shoes

Hey everyone Its another poetry post & its another poem about my transition. I honestly believe that my transition has not only had a beneficial impact on my life but also on my writing as I feel I can write more freely & honestly rather than suppressing my feelings or holding back on my emotions. I’ve called this one In My Shoes I hope you enjoy the read.

 In My Shoes

It was the biggest decision
I would ever have to make
there was no mistaking my desire to transition
I’d known since I was seven
& asked my mum to paint my nails
& curl my hair
I screamed it was so unfair
when she said no
but the seeds of my identity
were sown
even before Donny made me blush
my first crush
filled my heart with lustful thoughts
of sin
in ways I had never known before
I hated being told to ignore them
to go & play with ‘other’ boys
but how could I when knew
I wasn’t like them
my thoughts were that they were different
one day they would be men
that was something I hoped
would never happen to me
it did biologically
but my emotions contrasted
from what I was told was right
I tried fighting myself
enduring years of secret tears
before finally gracing the stage
as the woman I knew was
since a little girl believed santa claus would bring me
the present I really wanted
the chance to live my life
dream my dreams
walk in my own shoes
not those of a stranger though the road ahead would have dangers
I knew I had to take it
its was time to walk the walk
its funny how the biggest decision
I would ever have to make
was easier so much easier
than I thought
when I knew the time was right

@ Gayle Smith 2012

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