Rainbow Of The Night ( An Idiots Guide To Lingerie Shopping)

Hey everyone It always happens on Christmas eve. It’s like birthdays and valentine day and already the women amongst my readers will know what’s coming. In a desperate bid to impress the girlfriend particularly if it’s a new relationship or when they’ve had a major argument, some poor guy will head to the most frightening place any man can go to. Yes that’s right, with the face of fear which will by now be a deeper shade of red than Santa’s sack he will head for the lingerie shop to buy his girl a treat which unfortunately he will like more than she does. It is no wonder that Boxing Day and the 15th of February are the busiest day of the year for staff at lingerie shops and departments. With this in mind I have written a poem called Rainbow of the Night or An Idiots Guide To Lingerie Shopping to help them with this challenging issue. This is however written with tongue in check and just like Santa this Missy Christmas will take no blame for dodgy presents. So before going to the shops I suggest you talk to sisters your girlfriends friends or any intelligent woman she knows. After all she may have dropped a few hints to them not so much on what to buy but on what not to. Trust me if she has done this and shared this information you’d be well advised to listen. Meanwhile, read on and enjoy.

Rainbow Of The Night ( An Idiots Guide To Lingerie Shopping)

Blood Red
the colour of passion
It is also the colour of hatred, anger,
Santa, fire, and war,
the lioness who wears this will roar
you shall tremble in fear
hear her strong yet very female voice
you have no choice in the matter
she is not impressed by chatterboxes or patter merchants
she is an equal not a servant
as the colour of lust will show
she will not fear letting you know
where you stand
one thing you can say
the girl with inner demons and hidden truths to reveal
is someone who never does bland

Black the colour of darkness
mystery and night
the blanket that covers the sky
the eternal space where we go to die or to dream
the colour of seduction some would say death but not me
I find the night a comfort
from concerns of the day
and go to wherever it decides to take me
hopefully to that magical place
the place beyond the stars

Cream is tasty yet flirty
the perfect colour to hide
under your working skirt
knee length of course
we don’t want co-workers or bosses
to think of planting thorns amongst the roses that would be wrong
meanwhile we sing a song of morning
whilst waiting for the evening to call

Pink makes the boys wink
but it makes us smile and sometimes blush
maybe reminding us of our first crush in the days of our innocence
Hotter shades of the colour help us discover
the shocking side to our personality
bring out aspects of our sexuality some say we should keep hidden behind the lace curtains
a woman according to some should learn to control her inhibitions
but this woman says a walk on the mild side
may not be as mild as you think

Pastels are supposed to say calm feminine submissive
that may be the message men get
but if it is they are reading it wrong
no woman is saying we belong to the kitchen sink
to anyone who thinks otherwise she says no way
this is a different day from our mothers
we have discovered other futures secretary, seducer we can and will be both when the time is right our colours reflect our changing moods
Oranges are not the only fruit peach is also appealing
lilac may reveal more than you imagine
if your mind to is too narrow to escape conformity’s prison

Autumnal colours like greens and beige whilst not commanding centre stage
still have a place in our rainbow
more for the conservative Walton’s loving type
who place their partner at the centre of their world
these women are fulfilled in their own ways
often watching Saturday Kitchen and Jeremy Kyle
with a smile which says they have a recipe for success
in which the domestic goddess plays her part
whilst giving thanks that the Kyle show reflects only
how the underclass live

White whilst usually reserved for weddings
can be worn at other times
though if I’m honest I wouldn’t
well there are things that nice girls shouldn’t do
which I might want to
I reserve the right to have fun
It is not the copyright of the young
by the which I mean the under 25’s
those of us who danced to night fever and staying alive
still have our right to the joys
we want men not boys to entertain us and will not be satisfied with second best
It was Madonna who said second best
is never enough
It’s true and if you don’t like it tough
that’s just the way it is and ever shall be
I am a woman you have to trust me on this
or you won’t get so much as a kiss

So now I’ve given you my guided tour are you sure you know what colours to buy
for Christmas birthdays or other occasions
have I given you inspiration to shop till you get it right
honestly, stockings tights or lingerie may seem like the perfect gift
but god help you if you get it wrong
thongs may look nice
If a woman buys crotchless tights that’s her decision to take
but you buying them for her could be the biggest mistake you’ll ever make
I’m so glad I decided to write
my rainbow of lingerie
my colour guide to the night
as for maids and nurses uniforms
I say buy one if you dare
but that as they say is another poem be waiting to be written
On another Christmas when I see more people with crimson faces
not knowing where to look
or what to say to the sales staff

@Gayle Smith 2013

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