There are times in life when you receive such a compliment that you simply have to tell the story behind it. This is indeed a rare gift when you’re a trans woman in what some would call her mature years or in language more often used by the medical profession you are a woman of a certain age. However, no matter how rare a compliment like this happens, the fact is it does happen on the odd occasion and it recently happened to me.
It was on Tuesday night as I travelled in to the city centre to make my way to the southside for the first Words and Music of the year that I received this unexpected kindness. As my journey takes two buses and always has, no matter what I route I travel, I decided to leave early to start on my travels and because I did so I ended up travelling by a slightly different route to my usual one. Due to my change of travel plans I was in the city centre by 6.20 so the fact I didn’t get off the bus till a later stop than I normally would didn’t concern me too much.
It was as I got off the bus at the local MacDonald’s I stood at the bus stop for a wee bit longer than I would usually do due to the volume of traffic. During this short time at the bus stop I saw a mother frantically trying as hard as she was able to stop her wee girl from wandering too close to the kerb. Honestly, the woman said you need eyes in the back of your head to deal with weans these days. I nodded, totally unprepared for the next bit of social chat as the woman a young mum in her late 20’s asked me if I had any kids.
With the honesty I’m famous for I informed this very decent and likable young mum that I was a transsexual woman and for a brief moment I swear she was actually speechless. On recovering her powers of speech she said she was stunned as in her words I didn’t look anything like what her image of what a transsexual woman would look like. To her, I just looked like one of the girls.
As I thanked her for her kind words she said it was the way I dressed and the way I carried myself which made her think that I was in her words just a normal woman. I replied by saying that her comment had cheered me up and I had been brought up to believe there was a world of difference between dressing as a woman as some people choose to do and living as the woman I had always known myself to be.
The woman smiled and said that she had never met a trans woman before and that she would never have suspected me of being one if I hadn’t been so honest about it. I replied that I believed if something’s worth doing it’s worth doing well and I always try to live up to the standards I set myself.
Talking of standards one of the most important points the woman raised in our conversation, was that I dressed appropriately for a woman of my age which she guessed to be late 40’s. Needless to say I was flattered by this comment though I did tell her my real age. Well you know me , honest to a fault. I was wearing my Christmas outfit (see picture below) and this included my sparkly tights which I said I would only get a couple more wears from till I’d need to put them back in the drawer till next Christmas and hope my hips didn’t expand too much between now and then.
Having illustrated my humour
during our chat on my outfit she told me that in her opinion I definitely was meant to be a woman as I knew things that men or even someone who was just a cross dresser wouldn’t have a clue about on the grounds they wouldn’t need to know about some of things we spoke about.
She then asked me a few questions as to how I had treated by others which I answered with an openness and honesty which she said found refreshing. I said that the majority of people had been fine with my transition but I have had to with the odd transphobic remark and when I’ve had to deal with it then it really has been dealt with and so have the bigots who made it.
Having shown earlier that I wasn’t adverse to cracking the occasional one liner we shared some chat that most guys either wouldn’t get or for that matter want to listen to. Well, a lot of men don’t really want to know about the joys of waxing or knicker drawers. Things like that tend to make them blush you know.
On more serious issues my bus stop companion said that
she was glad things were working out for me and wished me well for the future. In the distance I could see the lights change to green and that meant it was time to cross the road and make my way to the Southside and enjoy the night ahead. As I did so I smiled as I remembered the compliment I’d been given and began to believe that the night I got the green light from a stranger in the town was the night I knew I really was made up
Love And Best Wishes