An Ordinary Women Looks Back On A Journey. 

Hey Readers

 On World Transgender Remembrance Day I have written this poem which charts my personal journey from the early years and suppressing my natural instincts to be the girl I knew I was to now and where I have eventually found contentment as the woman I am.I’ve given it the title An Ordinary Woman Looks Back A Journey I hope you enjoy the read. 
An Ordinary Woman Looks Back On A Journey

You try to suppress your desire

to wear that dress

Look at that boy

buy that magazine

your folks would be mortified

you’d be talk of the scheme

If you were ever found out

this is the kind of hassle you can live without

so you lied

tried to fit in

wish yourself away

for fear of what the neighbours might or might not say

whilst friends are getting ready

to go to the dancing on Saturday night

you go to your room put your music on

get made up

slip in to a secret skirt and tights

dream of that boy you fancy like mad

you know the best boyfriend you never had

the one who looked hot in shorts

In those long days of summer

or maybe that long haired drummer

who played in a band

wrote lyrics your mum would be too old to understand

or so you’d like to think

you blushed

your checks pink like roses

but your mum knew more than she told

at the time you cursed her for being old

it was just the way she was brought up

now you’re old enough to be a mum

or if you’d had a family young enough

maybe even a granny

you no longer care if some ned calls you tranny

you know your a woman

you couldn’t care less

long ago you abandoned yourself

now you wear your dress with pride

unwilling to hide your identity

for the contentment of others

if that makes them uncomfortable then so be it.

your just a trans woman who says it as she sees it.

 too many like you have died in denial

due to fear and social constraints

placed on them by those who cared too much

about the opinions of others they’ll never meet

strangers in shared city centre streets

whose only communication would have been

to talk about the weather

a quick blether in the queue

outside Marks and Spencer

or some similar well known department store

life is better than before

for a woman like you

it’s certainly true to say you have nicer times now

than you did growing up

your teenage years were troubled times

but now I stand as the woman you’ve become

to say things have turned out fine

and more enjoyable than you could dare to have dreamed

your just an ordinary woman

your talk of the scheme no longer

so remember the journey you’ve taken

you’re stronger than you thought you could be

trust me your greatest achievement will be campaigning for the rights of others

but on this day say a prayer for trans sisters and brothers

in countries less accepting than ours

Brazil, Mexico , USA , Russia, Italy

flowers of life cut down before being given

the chance to bloom

robbed of dignity

there fate was to be left behind

the victims of hatred

fuelled by ignorance and fear

give thanks God placed you here

in this land

then think of others

first used then discarded

like washed up rags

on the deserted beaches of humanity

remember them then get on with your life

It’s what they would want you to do

@ Gayle Smith 2016


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