Romance And Respect Make A Woman Feel Valued. ( What Men Can Learn From Girl Talk When It Comes To Chatting Up Women)

Hey everyone A couple of weeks ago I turned another year older or as I prefer to say put another mile on the clock. Whether this brings me any extra wisdom is something that remains to be seen. What i do know however is that I am noticing yet more changes on my journey to womanhood.

These changes may not be massive but believe me they are happening, they must be there are factors at play which could not be explained if this were not the case. One example is that I am tending to attract romantic attraction both males and females.

Whilst the attraction from men is no great surprise the attraction from two women one of whom is openly lesbian within the nine months most certainly is. This is not something I had ever even contemplated at the beginning of my journey and I doubt would ever have received. Though now though still unlikely to walk that particular path I can at least smile when it happens

That said I did engage in chat with these women and i did feel some sort of emotional connection in a way which I never felt with my latest potential Prince Charming. You see though he was a good looking guy there was something in his communication style which i felt was just plain wrong. It went along the lines of Hey how you doing darling do you want to come back to my place so I can make love to you. Now I have to say though he wasn’t a bad looking guy by any stretch of the imagination I would however like to think I was worth a bit more effort than that. I mean these lines may very well work in the lyrics of a Barry White song but that kind of patter should be left in the 1970’s. It appeares that some guys don’t seem to know that women are more than sex objects and are still living in a timewarp which takes them back to an age when men were and women or at least so we were told were grateful. 

Now much as it pains me to tell the boys women have moved on since my teenage years and some of the songs which made the charts in those far off days would struggle even to make a demo tape in these more enlightened times  Two examples of this would be Slade’s Squeeze Me Please Me which contains the horrendous line ‘When a girl means yes she says no’ and Gary Glitter who has since been exposed a paedophile and his song Do You Wanna Touch Me. It says a lot about how innocent we were at 11 or 12 which was my age when   these songs were in the charts that we thought these  songs were just songs rather than at best vile misoygenistic attacks on women and girls or in the Glitter case a road map for child abusers.

Unfortunately however it seems that society has not moved on as far as I had hoped and the objectification of women still continues as on the night this guy chatted me up I ended up feeling that I was no more than a piece of meat he wanted to have and I think enough of myself to know I am worth a lot more than just a fleeting wham bam thank you ma’am kind of moment.

Contrast this if you will to the two occasions when I received attention from women. On the first occasion there was a real intellectual connection between the two of us and though her original companion left a short while after she invited me in to the company she and I stayed chatting for another hour during which we immersed ourselves in debates on culture, and politics, and chatted on other more personal stuff. During our chat we talked about LGBT issues and she told me to stop referring to myself as a transwoman reminding that in her opinion I was very much a woman and I should be proud of the fact. This kind of chat made me feel valued and appreciated for the woman I am and when she invited to go with her to another bar later on it was only lack of money which prevented me from doing so. Would this have led me to walk down another road? I don’t think so but you can never tell what may or may not have happened had the money situation been different. 

The second occasion occured just a few days when I got chatting to a women at a bus stop. On noticing her tattoo I asked her if the name on it was her daughter’s . In a remarkably frank and honest answer she told me it was not it was in fact the name of her first girlfriend. It is this kind of honesty and integrity that women find so refreshing and when she went on to talk candidly about her lesbianism and her love for other women I opened up to her about my trans identity. Again like the previous woman she said I should stop using the term trans and just accept myself for the woman I am and if others had a problem with that  then that was their problem to deal with and not mine to own. Again this led to an emotional connection I just never felt with the guy who tried to chat me up.

So the question I put is this why did I feel a deeper emotional with these two women than I did with my latest would be Prince Charming or any man who has tried to seduce me? The answer I think is a simple one and it is that women know how to socialise and communicate with other woman. This is  a skill we learn at a young age, which too many men often dismiss as girl talk. However this is a lotmore important than it is given credit for as it permeates all our relationships in ways boys will never quite understand. From best friends to business associates women know how to make other women feel valued whereas men are taught from boyhood to be more individualistic and prioritise their own needs above all others. This to me illustrates the fundamental differences between the sexes. So in this early part of the 21st century let me give the men of Scotland some advice if you really want to have a successful relationship with a woman maybe you need to ask her questions about her life rather than telling her all about yours. You see it is only by being interested in others that you will get them interested in you.

So guys my message could not be clearer and believe me you will learn a lot from a woman’s words of wisdom. My sentiments are simple we are not objects or pieces of meat we are women and we only have two rules in our book  of love.

(1) We are  worthy of romancing

(2) We are worthy of respecting.

Now if you get these simple basics right you might just be on to something however you really need to listen to the way that women talk  

 Love And Best Wishes

Gayle X

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