Skirting Around

On the 30th and final day of NaPoWriMo I write another poem on my rewarding but often challenging relationship with my Mother during my formative years, and her difficulty in accepting my gender identity. This however is i hope my kindest and fairest appraisal of that relationship As i have hinted at in other poems such as The Lemon Dress, Dutiful Daughter, and A Trans Daughter Remembers Her Mother, my mother certainly saw me in the gender i at that stage wished to acquire. However it has to be said she could drive a hard bargain and she did set my boundaries and rules as to just how far i could go, Though her rules may have been difficult to accept there were some for which i was and remain grateful and would probably have passed on to own daughters had i had the chance to a mum. Well as daughter knows your dad may be your hero but it is your mum who is and always will be your role model. The scary thing is we girls are far more like our mothers than we would ever like to think. I have given the poem the title Skirting Around , i hope you enjoy the read.

Skirting Around

Ever since I can remember
my dad was my hero
My mum however was my role model
I wanted to be like to her
except younger and cooler
I dressed in her clothes
because I wanted to be a girl
Her style may not have been
my choice
but I was determined my real voice
would come out and speak to the world
Eventually in my teens
we reached a deal
I could be seen
but only when there was no-one else around
Not perfect but better than nothing
It was hard but I stuck to her rules
my reward was a secret stash of outfits
and the occasional gift of make up or tights
Sunday and Monday night chats
about the Osmonds
Scotland was a difficult place
for girl talk In the 70’s
I was taught the value of virginity
to keep my dignity,
cross my legs
read Woman and Women’s Own
to learn what being a woman was really like
Jackie and My Guy were fine
for posters of my favourite bands
but my mother said
I had to understand what girls went through
Looking back it was the right thing to do
there could be no skirting around

@ Gayle Smith 2015

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