Hey everyone. As I rest at home on the comfort of my sofa I ask myself the question just how long should it take to change a light bulb? Somehow I don’t think 9 hours would be usual answer to this question and it certainly wouldn’t be a satisfactory one.
My reason for asking this question is that yesterday morning I went out to my local shop to buy a light bulb a simple enough task and one I was well on the way to accomplishing as having made my purchase I started what should have been a routine five minute journey to another local shop before heading back to my flat.
However it is often said that the lord works in strange and wondrous ways and this was a classic example of that as what should have taken no more than five to ten minutes ended up taking nine hours as I ended up going home via an unexpected detour to the Glasgow Royal Infirmary.
The reason for this was the fact that as I minded my own business I went spinning around faster than Kylie and ended sprawled across Baillieston Main Street. This resulted for the avoidance of doubt in a very nasty fall.
So in case you may have heard otherwise I can confirm I haven’t been assaulted. I have to say though if you had heard this rumour it would this have been a very easy mistake to make considering the state was in, so I know how it must have looked to passers by. Just for factual accuracy I have to report the reason for this misunderstanding is due to the fact that I spilled more blood than a vampire’s convention and had been roughed up pretty bad by yet another Baillieston pavement.
The result of this fall left me as it said in the words of bricklayer’s song with multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock and with more blood on my hands than Tony Blair. Yes dear readers things really were that bad.
As I am and always have been a wee bit accident prone I must admit that this is not the first time this has happened to me as I have a long history of fighting battles with pavements and losing to them spectacular fashion. This is never good for ones ego and is most unbecoming for a woman in her sensible years.
Many thanks must go the people of Baillieston many of whom stopped to make sure I was ok in particular a friend from my local church who stayed with me till the ambulance arrived. I don’t know if it was just panic reaction, but the more people who stopped to see what had happened the more jokes I started cracking. I think it was a desperate attempt to keep my spirits up and it seemed to work. I was the same in the ambulance chatting away to the paramedics and making them laugh all the way to the hospital.
When I got treated by the staff carrying out the various tests on me I was treated with respect and dignity. As a trans woman this is very important to me as I often hear of negative stories from women in my position. This was not and has never been my experience. My thanks go to the staff of both the Scottish Ambulance Service and Glasgow Royal Infirmary who were brilliant to me throughout my time in their care.
On arriving at the hospital I was questioned as to what I remembered about the fall and then taken to a ward to wait for a cubicle. On being allocated a cubicle I was told to take my clothes off and put on a gown so the hospital staff could carry out a series of tests on me. I did so and allowed them to get on with their jobs as I always think that the quicker the nursing staff can complete the tests the quicker you will get the results you need and the quicker you can go home.
Eventually I did get the all clear to put my clothes back on and to go home and when I arrived in the village around six hours after leaving it my flatmate was having her early evening sleep. When she did wake up she sorted out our living room light issue and nine hours after buying the light bulb there was light once more in our home.
On arriving back at the flat I posted about my little misadventure on facebook and have inundated with supportive comments. My heartfelt thanks go to all who have expressed their concerns. I am really lucky to have such brilliant friends.
As a woman of faith I know that some times we are tested in our lives and God knows it should never take nine hours to change a light bulb especially for a ten minute journey. I have to say however that this is me and I know only too well the truth of the saying I first heard as a child the lord works in strange and wondrous ways his wonders to perform.
Love And Best Wishes