A Wee Kirk On The Corner Where the Bible Met Bananaman But Only The Birthday Girl Can Bend It Like Beckham

Hey everyone. As usual with it being Sunday I made my customary trip to the kirk on the corner for our traditional Sunday morning service. As I somehow managed to sleep in last Sunday the first time in ages I had done so, I thought I had better make my way to the church early this morning and much to my surprise and probably everyone else’s I was in the pews before the bible was taken to the lectern. I think the extra hours sleep I gained with the clocks going back an hour definitely helped me.

This morning’s service was a dedication service for the Boys Brigade where the both boys and the their leaders made commitments to undertake the work of the company in a way which was pleasing to god and the service contained some of my favourite hymns such as Make Me A Channel Of Your Peace and An Army Ordinary People as well as that old boys brigade standard Will Your Anchor Hold.

During a brilliant service Malcolm reminded the boys and for that matter the rest of us, not to look down on others who may in some way be or lead lifestyles which are different to ours but to show love when would others would walk away. He then went on to say that this was particularly difficult for boys as they are often told it is not manly to express emotion and yet he said it was the very epitome of christian manhood to do exactly that. After all that is what Jesus did even in the most difficult and challenging situations.

Earlier in the service Malcolm presented one of our girls with a challenging situation of her own as he announced it was her birthday and got an all too willing congregation to sing happy birthday to a girl who has grown up in the church,and of whom we are extremely proud.

Earlier in the service Malcolm as he often does turned aerobics instructor as he gave us a couple of songs which had accompanying actions for our by now semi regular Sunday morning exercise class. I can only hope that nobody had a fry up for breakfast before attending. Safe to say I doubt if they would have done as this wee surprise can strike at any time. Bearing this in mind and being the wise flock that they are I don’t think anyone would take that kind of risk.

As well as singing the standard version of I’m in the Lord’s Army our minister come karaoke expert taught the congregation a more updated version which included Bananaman, Spiderman, and Superman there was even a mention of Indiana Jones. This may be fine for the boys in our parish but what I want to know is where was the mention of Wonder Woman. Us girls need role models as well you know. Anyway, at the end of another great service we made our way to the church hall for some social time and a soup lunch.

During this time of fellowship I managed to catch up with our birthday girl and on wishing her a happy birthday I said I hoped she was being spoiled silly which she assured me she was. Well this is a highly talented young footballer we’re talking about here, trust me it isn’t just David Beckham who can take a good free kick.

As I tucked in to two bowls of highly delicious carrot and lentil soup it was good to catch up with friends in the congregation and find out the latest chat. I mean take Diana for example, it’s been so long since she saw me only the Lord himself knows what I could have got up to since tea time on Friday when she bumped into me outside one of our local shops. I told her I had been good well at least I had since Friday she just smiled and giggled. There was however a different reaction later when I told another member of the congregation the same story, she smiled saying that’s an achievement at least it is for you. I am sure my cultural families in the worlds of spoken word and traditional music would agree when I say these are the words of a woman who knows me well.

However it has to be said on a day not short on highlights and memorable for all the right reasons I was particularly delighted to enjoy a catch up with my friend Fiona. When I told her I was as mad as ever, told me to keep up the good work and I think she knows she can trust me to do just that. Well as I’ve said so many times before, the day I become sensible will be the day we get hit by that satellite which will signal the end of times. Now I don’t know about you but I don’t want that to happen anytime soon so I reassured one of my longest standing friends in the church that I would live up to the title of that Paul Simon song you know Still Crazy After All These Years.

You know there are certain people amongst my circle of friends who seem to think that church is boring. I don’t know where they get that idea from. I mean the bible, which after all is the authentic word of God contains more action than I’ve ever seen in any Hollywood drama and some of the language in the gospels is enough to provide poets like me with endless inspiration. I can also tell you something else I know to be true none of those who make this claim have never attended a service at Baillieston St Andrew’s at the wee kirk on the corner. This is a church where the Bible meets an Aerobics class and the minister can get the us all doing actions like Bananaman but only the birthday girl can bend it like Beckham.

Love And Best Wishes
Gayle X

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