Hey everyone As yesterday was Easter Sunday I think back to a time when the Easter celebration didn’t mean as much to me as it does now.
This was a time when my faith or what passed for it was so lapsed it was restricted to watching Songs of Praise on a Sunday evening and even that was more often than not far too much of an effort for me to manage to watch the full half hour.
In those days life was about parties and pleasure it was about doing things my way and the walk of faith contained far too much thou shalt not’s for my liking. Trust me if there was one thing I didn’t like it was rules and when they were joined by their even more annoying friend regulations, it was usually time for me to scarper.
Slowly however that began to change and I did begin to ask those questions which plague us all from time to time. I questioned who I was why I was here and the general meaning of life and my purpose for being alive. Well I knew I was here for a reason I just wanted to know what that reason was.
As regular readers of this blog will know I struggled with gender identity issues for most of my life before finally deciding in 2005 to go for it and live full time as a woman. Yes though there had been many false alarms the time was now right to live the life I needed to in order to preserve my sanity. With me being me and naturally cautious this would be in stages starting in the clubs and more general LGBT where I had been out to varying degrees since the mid 1990’s. This coincidentally paralleled with my University years 1995 to 1999 University of Strathclyde BA Honours 2/2 Geography and Politics.
That said however, It wasn’t until the new millenium that I finally decided to go for it and missy queen of rainbows was having a great time. As I started to put together a weekend wardrobe I was out socialising more often than some girls half my age. I should state that I was in my early mid forties at this time but still despite all the good times I felt there was something missing and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Luckily I didn’t have to as one night in the Autumn of 2007 I heard the bells of the local church ring out and without a second thought I headed the short distance from my home to the church. Had I had time for a second thought I probably wouldn’t have made it to church but I did and in doing so I discovered the purpose of my life I was not only to be a woman I was to be a woman of faith.
Had anyone told me that information weeks or even days before I made my first journey to St Andrew’s Baillieston I would have asked them if they were having a laugh. Seven years later it is me who is laughing smiling and generally being happier than I ever thought possible as every Sunday I see people who treat me with fairness and respect and I feel privileged to be part of a genuine community.
I can’t understand why, but certain people I know seem to be under the fatal misapprehension that Christians are judgemental. I really feel for these people as they are more often than not the ones doing the judging and certainly in the congregation I am lucky to be a part of, the christian community are amongst the least judgemental people I have ever met.
You see the real message of Easter is a message of hope but that hope is built on the rock of faith. It is the faith that states Jesus who yielded his life in atonement for sin, conquered death and sin by rising from the grave before ascending to his seat at the right hand of the father in heaven.
I have to say I think I know my scripture a wee bit better than I used to, though every week I learn more about our risen lord. One thing I do know however and I can say this with certainty I know my purpose in life. I think it is safe to say I am not only to be a woman I am more than that I am born to be a woman of faith.
Love And Best Wishes